What do your emotions do for you?
EMOTIONS MOTIVATE AND ORGANIZE US FOR ACTION
- They motivate our behavior and prep us for action and doing
- Emotions save us time in reacting to important situations
- They also help us overcome obstacles in our mind and our environment
EMOTIONS COMMUNICATE TO AND INFLUENCE OTHERS
- Studies show that only 7% of communication is the words that you say. While 38% is through vocal elements, including tone and inflection. The majority of communication is through nonverbal, which accounts for 55% of our communication and includes facial expressions, gestures, posture, and body language.
- When we need to communicate to others, it can be hard to change or control our emotions
- Our communication, no matter how we do it, influences the emotions and actions of others
EMOTIONS COMMUNICATE INFORMATION TO OURSELVES
- They give us important information about events and situations
- Sometimes we can treat our emotions as facts about the worldcontrol our emotions
- For example: If I feel confident about something, it is right. If I am afraid, there must be danger.
- If we assume our emotions are facts, we can use them to justify our thoughts and actions. This can cause major problems if we ignore the facts in the situation.
ABC's of DBT
ACCUMULATING POSITIVE EMOTIONS
In the short term, to help build positive emotions NOW!
- Build positive experiences NOW!: Make a list of activities that make you feel good and do one of these things daily – no matter how small
- Avoid avoiding ALL of your emotions: FEEL ALL OF YOUR FEELINGS! The GOOD and the BAD!
- Be mindful of positive experiences and FOCUS on these moments as they are happening
- ENGAGE fully in each experience
- Be unmindful of worries: Don’t think about when the experience will end or even if you deserve this experience or even what will be expected of you next
In the long term, to help build a life worth living!
- Avoid avoiding – do what is needed RIGHT NOW!
- Identify your important values – what matters to YOU in YOUR life?
- Pick one value to work on RIGHT NOW!
- Identify goals related to this value – how can you make this part of your life?
- Choose one goal to work on RIGHT NOW!
- Identify small action steps towards your goal
- Take one action step now!
- Plan on doing one thing everyday to build accomplishment
- Plan for success, not failure
- Gradually increase difficulty over time
- Look for a challenge
COPE AHEAD FOR CHALLENGING SITUATIONS
- Describe the event that might trigger difficult emotions a.Check the facts and name the emotions that might arise
- Decide how to cope with the situation and what skills you will use and write your plan out in detail
- Imagine the situation as if you are IN IT RIGHT NOW!
- Rehearse in your mind coping effectively
- Review what skills you would use, what you might say and do, how you will handle new problems, and how you will handle your biggest fear or catastrophe
- Practice relaxation after rehearsing
Letting Go of Emotional Suffering
HOW DO WE REGULATE OUR EMOTIONS?
- Understand the functions of our emotions and what they do for us
- Reducing emotional vulnerability by increasing positive emotions & experiences
- Decreasing suffering by letting go of pain & changing painful emotions
HOW DO WE DO THIS?
RIDE THE WAVE OF EMOTIONS
Mindfulness of emotions is about observing and describing the emotions without judgement. You need to distance yourself from the emotion in order to do this. “Step outside your box!” Note that it is there, step back, and get unstuck from the emotion. Experience it like a wave, coming and going. Don’t try to ignore it or get rid of it or hold on to it or amplify it. Just experience it as a wave of the ocean. Coming and going. The more mindful you are to your painful emotions, the more you expose yourself to difficult things.
MORE EXPOSURE = LESS FEAR, LESS FEAR = LESS ANGER & PANIC
Letting go of an emotion, person, or event is allowing that thing to leave you without attachment. You are not your emotion and you don’t have to act on it. There are times when you have felt different. Letting go is like an egg frying on a Teflon pan. It will slide right off with no trouble. No pushing or pulling. If you cook an egg on a grill, it will stick to the bars of the grill and fall through.
Acceptance is freedom from suffering. Acceptance does not mean approval. Life is going to have rough times! Life will throw us curve balls! Sometimes acceptance can help us reduce our pain and suffering. If we fight back, we stay stuck in the pain. Don’t judge what you are feeling. Just feel it and be willing to experience it.
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